Cheating and the road to forgiveness

The only reason that I found out that my partner was cheating was because they told me about it. If they had never told me that they had committed adultery, I would still be naive in my marriage. When my partner told me that they needed to talk, I thought that we had gotten pregnant and I was so excited, but unfortunately that wasn't the case. Cheating and the road to forgiveness is not an easy path to drive on, but when you love someone and cannot picture your life without them, sometimes you need to take a chance and forgive them. When my partner told me about the cheating, I didn't know if forgiveness was going to be an option. But after talking to them and hearing their side of the story, I was just happy that they had come clean about it and not neglected to tell me about it. Now that I look back, I should have been able to pick up on some telltale signs of cheating, but I guess I was too trusting.

How forgiving a cheater is essential to your recovery

Overcoming adultery is definitely possible, but the first step you need to take is forgiving the cheater in question. At first, I was so angry with my partner that I refused to forgive them for what they had done. I told them that I could move past this but that I couldn't forgive them. After a while I began to notice that holding onto anger was stopping my partner and I from evolving as a couple. When I realised this, I immediately forgave my cheating partner and told them that I was devoted to getting things back to how they once were.

Is there room for forgiveness after adultery?

There is always room for forgiveness in every single aspect of life, but it just takes a very strong person to be able to forgive someone who hurt them dearly. Finding out that your lover has committed adultery will always come as a shock to the unsuspecting, but knowing that forgiveness is an option can also be reassuring.

How to forgive without forgetting

Knowing how to forgive someone for cheating is not something that we are taught in school, so it can be very hard to figure it all out on your own. The first thing you should know when forgiving a partner is to never forget what happened. If you start forgetting about how you felt when you found out about your partner's infidelity, you'll forget to be on your guard. Since a cheater can potentially cheat again, you need to remember that they have cheating in their blood.

Adultery is more common than you would think

After my partner came clean about cheating with their co-worker, I told them that I would only get back with them if they changed job, and to my surprise they agreed. My partner ended up getting a job in Wellington and so we relocated our life there and decided to start fresh. To help me cope with the cheating and the move, I began to read books about adultery and could not believe how common it was. In a twisted way, it made me feel better to know that I was not alone and that others had gone through what I had and survived.